The Great Oven Quest
Travis and I have been casually talking about video games the last few days and the whole idea of building Choose Your Own Adventures. Yesterday, while trying to wrangle a new wall oven, I realized that all the time spent playing fantasy role-playing games as a kid wasn't wasted. There are some useful skills built up over those years that have application in one's daily life.
Quest: To find and install a wall oven in your home. Primary goal: Bake a pizza. Secondary goals: Purchase oven; retrieve oven; install oven.
1. Locate a suitable dealership. Negotiate oven price. Your purse has a limited number of semollians. In order to receive discount, oven must be picked up. Electrician will charge 100 semollians to install four wires after you put the damn thing in the wall. [Reaction roll vs. Charisma and Mercantile skill] Save 200 semollians.
2. Locate and negotiate the use of vehicle. [Reaction roll vs Persuasion skill] Driver is persuaded by the fact that my presence in his vehicle means he can use the car pool lane to get home Friday afternoon from work.
3. Since I'll be riding with him, I don't need my own car. I need to find some other way to get to work that morning and then get to the appliance shop. Utilize my map-reading and intelligence skills to determine best routes. This means I have to leave the house at 5.30 in the AM to walk six blocks to the bus stop.
I discover there aren't any streetlights on the block surrounding the local elementary school. Now, how silly is that? You would think the local populace would want the school to completely lit up at night. Note to self: don't take this route again. [Reaction roll vs Listen and Move Silently skills]
4. Half hour bus ride to the train station. Hour ride on the train to Seattle. Fifteen minutes in the van pool. This is all mundane and I do most of this every day. No reaction or skill rolls required.
5. Navigate Seattle Metro system to get myself from downtown to Southcenter. The 66 is late. The 66 is always late. [Reaction roll vs Fortitude to prevent panic that I'm going to miss my connection downtown] Favorable divine intervention presents the 66. I have eight minutes to make my downtown connection. It won't be the end of the world if I miss the connection because I've built some buffer time in my plan. This is a survival trait on the Seattle bus system. You need to give yourself enough time that you can catch the "next bus" and still make your destination because, at any given time, one of the buses you need to be on will be late. Multiple transfers only makes this process more hellish.
6. The delay on the 66 puts me at Stewart and Terry with only a minute to spare before the 150 leaves the Convention Center. [Reaction roll vs Agility and Endurance] I'm not going to be able to run the four blocks in time. Not with the pack I'm carrying.
I'll try beating the 150 to Westlake Center. I have to make a dash across traffic (okay, there was only one truck), navigate the escalators and dodge all the wandering sheep intent on being good consumers in order to reach the bus tunnel. [Reaction roll vs Agility]
7. An old man is questioning the driver about when he should pay his fare (even though the fare box plainly says "Ride Free Zone"). This delay allows me to jump the last three steps and make the 150 to Southcenter. [Reaction roll vs Dexterity and Acrobatic skill]
8. A guy sits down across from me with SARS mask on. His breath makes the Tivek fabric move in and out around his mouth like an exposed lung. (When I email Grammarhammer Amtower about this guy, he responds with: "What's your Saving Throw vs Breath Weapon?")
9. I insulate myself during the journey. Dr. Michael Bull observes in an article at Wired News that personal stereos give individuals "control of the journey, the timing of the journey and the space they are moving through." My control mechanism is Peter Brotzmann's monster free-jazz industrial guitar and drum remix of Eraldo Bernocchi, Toshinori Kondo and Bill Laswell's "Charged."
The same guy who had questions about fare paying when he got on has them again when he gets off at Southcenter. The SARS mask guy gets off as well. These are the random characters placed in the game to provide "color." You always end up dodging them and they always follow you and get in the way. Game designers do this just to remind you how little control you actually have over your environment.
10. Meet vehicle and driver at pre-arranged time and location. Retrieve oven and put it in the back of the truck. Drive home.
11. Attract the attention of the local constabulary when an abrupt lane change (complicated by the fact we can't really see with the rear view mirror in the truck because of the oven box) causes a bit of a ripple in traffic behind us. [Reaction roll vs Charisma and Reputation] "Yes, officer, I'll keep a better eye on my mirrors. Thanks for asking."
12. Arrive at home. Unpack the oven. Discover that the FUCKING THING WON'T FIT in the under counter space that I have.
That was yesterday afternoon. I'm going to make breakfast now and then drive back to Southcenter to start this whole process all over.
No quest experience points for me.